Cross-cultural exchange is one of the most important aspects of being a Peace Corps volunteer. I am learning about Cambodian culture, but am also sharing bits and pieces of American culture with Cambodians. Although some of the information shared is very mundane (do you have this fruit in America? What about the moon; do you have that there?), some stuff is interesting (many of the cultural customs, gender roles, etc ). Despite my repeated attempts, there are just some things that many people here just cannot fathom, so I will condense these topics into a list:
1. A salary of $30,000 in America is not very high at all. I’ve tried to explain that although this exorbitant amount seems high, it really isn’t that much when living costs are taken into account. In fact, for a family of 6 (which is quite common here), $30,000 would be considered living at the poverty line in the U.S. But when you are trying to explain this to people who have a yearly salary of $720 (the average Cambodian teacher’s salary which might support 6+ people), no amount of explanation will convince them that this is meager. Fair enough.
2. Many teenagers work in the United States to earn extra money. My host family thought this was one of the weirdest concepts ever. I told them that I had multiple jobs throughout high school so that I could buy my own car and pay for X, Y and Z, and they just didn’t understand this. It makes sense as Cambodia is not an economy dominated by the service sector, but rather split between agriculture, industry and services (which are predominately in Phnom Penh). Cambodian children and teenagers don’t get paid to help their family plant and thresh rice; it’s their duty to the family and each family member is expected to pull their own weight to ensure that food is on the table.
3. Most people want to be tan in America (or “black” as Cambodians refer to it). White skin is something that every Cambodian I have met is OBSESSED with. You can hardly buy any beauty product without some promise of getting whiter skin from it. There is even pink nipple cream, for those who are truly determined to transform themselves into a white person. This is one of Cambodian people’s favorite topics of conversation with me, as I am safely betting that I am the palest person any of the Cambodians in my town have seen. I explain that in America, people pay A LOT of money in an attempt to have darker skin and also frequently sit out in the sun for hours. “You Americans are crazy; why would you do that?” is the response I typically get. Why do we do that?
4. It is common to date many people before you get married. Yes, this may include pre-marital sex. My host mother thinks this is just insanity. “You have a lot of “broken” girls in your country,” she tells me.
5. Cheating is not allowed in school in America and is considered a very big deal. I am pretty sure most of my students hate me, for this is a policy I have strictly instituted in my classrooms. Even though I have been very successful in terms of getting my students to do tests on their own, the idea of “cheating” is something so natural to Cambodians; it is difficult to explain without just simply being that bitchy, strict American teacher. But I still try to explain why I have this policy to them- it’s important to think on your own and depend on yourself to solve problems. In a communal culture where individuality is not encouraged, this has been an uphill battle.
6. We don’t just eat one type of food, and we definitely don’t eat rice three times a day. America is a melting pot. We have all kinds of food, cultures and people from all over the world. I think the most shocking thing to them is that I don’t eat rice that much in America. “But aren’t you hungry?” my students ask. I explain that there are myriad food options, which ensures that I am never hungry, even though I am not eating rice. And don’t worry, I don’t use the word “myriad” to explain it.
7. Women get married after they are 23 in America. It is not unheard of for teenage girls to marry older men here and by the time a woman reaches her early twenties, she needs to be married and popping out babies. The great thing about explaining that I don’t feel pressure to get married at any certain point (or even at all) is that most Cambodian women I talk to think that it’s a pretty good idea. I think many Cambodian women, given the access to education and job opportunities, would love to prolong getting married and having kids and stimulate themselves with activities aside from domestic work. But this is an area that Cambodian culture is still struggling to incorporate into societal norms, and I do believe that when it does happen, it’ll give Cambodia the kick in the butt it certainly needs.
8. Beer can be casually drank and you don’t have to ‘cheers’ before every sip. This is a bandwagon I wish I could throw Cambodians on, for it is not fun having to say cheers anytime you want to take a sip of your brewski. Also, it seems like Cambodian men have all adopted the American college student mantra- ‘drink until you are absolutely sloshed.’ I feel like a huge loser pretending to down beers and then spitting it out, but hangovers in a humid and hot country like Cambodia are to be avoided like the plague.
9. Weddings and funerals vary in America and can be held inside. My host mother asked me when America’s wedding season was, and I told her it was whenever you want it to be. Weddings here are super fun, but they definitely do not get points for creativity. The setup is as follows: a tent, under which are tables and chairs with the same patterned cloth covering them, a table with fruit on it (which is used to dance around), and 15-20 HUGE speakers, which ensures that the vibrations from the wedding will remain with you long after you leave. Funerals here follow a structured format as well: monks chanting on a loud speaker that begins at 4am and lasts for days (but feels like years). Guests wear white and the service consists of giving some money to the family, joining in a short prayer while the monks chant, eating rice-porridge (‘bobo’) or Kmai noodles, eating as quickly as possible with a table full of strangers, and then going home. I’m pretty sure I have yet to attend a funeral gathering that lasts more than 30 minutes. You are in and out of there. I explained a bit about American funerals and that it is common to wear all black and cry. Once again, Jacqueline comes from a freakazoid planet.
10. We like to read for pleasure in America. I am still waiting to see a Cambodian with a good mystery novel in his hand. Who am I kidding? I am waiting to see any novel in a Cambodian’s hand.
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